Today we had one of those almost perfect southern snow storms. This time there was a nice layer of black ice just long enough to cause the home health nurse to cancel her visit today. Wonderful! That means I get to do her job of dressing Lewy’s feet and butt..... Oh yeah…
When Lewy finished his morning ritual dump and pee he shuffled out of the bathroom and across the hall into his bedroom with his sweat pants and diapers around his ankles. Daddy is very modest; Lewy just lets it hang out. I cut his diapers off and pulled the sweats off his feet with him standing. It seems once again I’m under Lewy’s bare butt. I just do not trust him; Daddy or Lewy. They both would delight in farting (or worse) on my head.
I took the baby wipes I discovered in the – oddly enough- baby aisle at the grocery, a place I’ve never needed to go, or ever had any interest in the things sold there, and started to clean up Lewy’s rear end where he has the bed sore developing. “Bend over.” Hum, all sorts of nasty looking things down there. I did as the nurse does, squirt it with cleaning fluid, wipe, and pluck out dead skin. Everything was going along fine until I got a whiff of the butt….Gonna need more baby wipes....Seven more to be exact.
I still shudder at the thought of wiping my Dad’s butt. This time, was a bit easier, but still….no one should have to be wiping their Dad’s rear end. It’s just too weird.
Next the feet. I had not realized how these sores smell. That nasty dead flesh smell..oh how it turns my stomach.
After the ice melted I got Daddy up and put him in the car to go to town. He always looks forward to the trips out. I don’t know why. By the time we get to the end of our road, he’s asleep. We made our appointed rounds and headed home.
Getting Lewy out of the car and into the house was an ordeal. He wanted to hold onto everything with this Superman grip. By golly that seatbelt was not going to move! I got him up and standing... We always have to wait for his blood pressure to stabilize. So we waited in the freezing cold with the wind howling out of the north. Little by little I got him to the door and inside. “You OK?” “Yeah.”
“Go on in ans sit down while I get the critter food. I’ll be right back.” And so I did. Upon approaching the door Lewy, always wanting to be helpful, opened the door for me, and knocked himself hard down onto his hip with the door. Fortunately nothing was broken.
This is a big problem. I can’t get him up. Those damn artificial knees won’t bend enough to stand up from the floor. I can’t get him on his knees, it hurts him too much. In these situations, unfortunately I have to call my nephew to come help. He is really Johnny on the Spot, only he has to drive 20 miles to get here. While we were waiting on my nephew, I put cushions from the couch under Daddy as best I could, got him a pillow, and the electric blanket. “Try to relax Daddy; it will be a while before he can get here.”
Lewy relaxed a bit for a few minutes then he started talking. “Is he inside or outside?” “Who Daddy?” “Him, the guy.”
“There’s no one here but us.” “But is he inside or outside?” Lewy seemed very worried. “Who Daddy?” “Old man [his last name]”. “You are Old Man [ ].”
“I am? Am I here?”
"Well, .....your lights are on”….