Lunch With Lewy
Hi there. Pauline had to work today so, being the loyal husband that I am, I let the office know that I had Daddy Duty and stayed home with Lewy. It was pretty much an uneventful day until it came time for lunch. I’ve known the man for thirty years so I’ve come to terms with his tastes, or lack thereof. He has always liked hot sauce so as he gets older and his taste buds declined the hot sauce come out more and more. “Texas Pete for your vanilla ice cream?. No problem Here you go.”
For lunch today I prepared a lovely concoction of left over roast pork over fresh pasta with thyme and parsley. After a full morning of having to explain over and over that Lewy was not seeing people build a boat in the lake outside the window because A) the window blinds are closed and B) the window faces a large wooded hill, I washed mine down with a large gin and tonic.
INTERLUDE
That is one of the things Pauline may not have made clear to you as yet. Dealing with Lewy’s myriad of fellow travelers doesn’t sound like a big deal but it wears on you. He will tell you over and over again about what those people in the corner are building or plotting. Then when you explain that they are not real, that they are just part of his disease, that they are his pill people, he will respond “Yeah…………………………………… How much are they charging your for the work?”. If your wave your arms and spin about in the spot where the work is taking place, the pill people may go away for a minute. Sometimes they just duck. On really bad days he gets mad because you don’t believe him. It can be very hard to take and sometimes just snap. “There are no people building a boat out there Lewy. There’s no lake out there, just woods!!” Then you feel like pond scum, only lower.
I’ve been through both and physically ill is difficult but it is nothing compared to a mentally ill loved one. I doff my hat and deeply bow to Pauline and any of you who have to deal with it day after day.
MEANWHILE BACK AT LUNCH
I served the pork and pasta. Then I got out the peanut butter and crackers. I don’t believe it is disease related but for whatever reason peanut butter and crackers are required at lunchtime. He gets down the jar of creamy peanut butter and the saltine crackers which we keep in one of those square glass jars. The fun part is that Lewy puts the peanut butter on the knife and then sticks that in the jar of crackers which is lying on its side on the table. He snags a cracker with the peanut butter and brings it out. It’s an interesting little exercise. Pauline and I now keep a separate jar of crackers tucked away for our use. Ours is the jar that is not lined with peanut butter on the inside.
Lewy requested a glass of milk to drink. I served up the milk in a large, easily graspable glass and, of course, hot sauce for the pasta.
“Anything else?”
“Do we have any of that…………………………… dressing we had last night?”
“The raspberry vinaigrette?”
“The red stuff. Yeah”
“Sure. Here you go.”
Two big tablespoons right into the milk. It was low fat milk but still, to my amazement, it did not curdle.
“That got it?”
“Yeah…………………………………………………………Got any of that jelly?”
“Blackberry preserves coming right up. Anything else?”
“No, I’m good.”
Yeap. You guessed it.
Two tablespoons right into the milk/vinaigrette.
Stir well and drink. Finish it up with a spoon.
Reportedly it was quite satisfying.
4 Comments
Loving Daughter said...
You make me sick. How can you make fun of your Father this way? My mom has LBD and it is trajic, not funny.
Hubbie said...
Loving Daughter, I'm sorry you misunderstood and took offense at my post. I DO NOT make fun of my father in law. Humor is simply my way of dealing with a tragic situation. Without that it would just be crying all day. One of our friends assumes your mother is in a nursing home and that you are just taking your guilt out on my post. I hope that is not the case. Lewy had a stint in a rehab facilty and for Pauline that was worse than anything we have had to deal with at home. We wish the best for your mother and that you find a way to deal with what she is having to deal with.
raffcons said...
Thank you, thank you, for your amazing blog! It has had me laughing right out loud (not doing a hell of a lot of that lately as I am my husband's full-time caregiver). I certainly hear the love in all of it.
In our house, my husband and I view "Louie" as the third party that has moved in with us -- you never see him, he's just there -- like a Caspar the Demented Ghost.
God has a great sense of humor (just look at a giraffe or a hairless chihuahua if you don't believe me) -- and in our case, we feel he shared it with us as a gift and a tool for handling life with Louie. Man, if we couldn't laugh ...
pearose said...
People handle difficulties in their own way and Hubbie and Pauline are both gifted at writing and trying to see the humor in an event that has completely consumed their schedules and lives. I'm not a caregiver and don't know that I have it in me, but have not yet been challenged with that decision. It is the toughest job on earth and both Pauline and Hubby have my total respect and admiration for writing this blog. Aside from both of them being my boss at times in my life, I've also known Lewy for years.
Pauline and Hubbie - What you're doing helps you cope and others, as well. I agree with several others - you have a book to write and you add to it every day when you write out your blog. As the percentage of elderly rises with each passing day, the need for aging in place caregivers will be on the rise - let them know that they are not alone and share your humor with them. They'll need it. The stress is unrelentless, so bring on the humor!