Hi Pauline, Karen here.
I think I understand what you're feeling. You had primed yourself for Daddy's death, believing that it was coming sooner than later. You were already grieving and probably telling yourself, "I can do this. . . . It won't be much longer."
And now, who knows when the good angel will swoop down for him? Maybe you've "hit the wall."
I don't have any advice, other than to suggest that you have another evening out with your girlfriends. I think it's so nice that you have friends. Use them.
I've decided to eliminate Risperidone, the potent anti-psychotic that reduced (though didn't quite eliminate) Mom's hallucinations and maybe her paranoia for the past 6 months. Whether it is contributing to her increased difficulty in getting her feet to move for a second or two, or to her lack of interest in TV or in the musical entertainments that troop through the cottage a couple of times a week , or to her off-and-on-again aphasia, I don't know.
She's been living at an assisted living cottage for 15 dementia residents for 5 months. I had started her on Risperidone while I was taking care of her in her home, perhaps for my own benefit (I had such a limited understanding of LBD at the time and just wanted her be normal again). When I told Peggy the Nurse at her facility that I wanted to wean Mom off of it, she surprised me with her enthusiasm. Turns out she is a great believer in giving as few mood-altering medications as possible.
Who knew?
I expressed my concern that Mom may give the attendants some trouble (she was never violent), but she said that Mom will probably just be more vocal and they can deal with it. It was your advocating for fewer medications, Pauline, that caused me to do more research on the Internet about the drug and how it interacts with LBD. So, we shall see.
Today, Mom was pretty adamant about my taking her home, but I think she meant her childhood home because she wanted to see her mother (dead now for 30 years). I finally put her into her coat and had her push her walker outside. She soon tired and grew cold and wanted to go back in.
A warm and cheerful fire and smiling attendants welcomed her back.
Best regards,
Karen
2 comments:
Stella said...
Karen, your post is so much what I need to read right now. Having brought my husband home from the hospital one week ago and he was on the whole variety of those meds and he went into such a stupor, I did not give him any more but it is the week-end and I am sitting here wondering just what in the world I am doing. I don't dare pick and choose what to give him because they are so powerful but the thought of him becoming like he was before the hospital scares the daylights out of me. I'm trying to be patient until the next office hours on Monday and I can talk to the doctor. Your post makes me feel like I can back off some of the drugs and he can go back to entertaining the pretty little girls and the home builders. Pauline remarked one time about the strange band of sisters we are. I watch for her reports of Lewy and pray for the angels to watch over her.
old friend said...
Thanks to you, Karen for your words of wisdom for they speak volumes to others that need a word of encouragement!